Recipe : Upside-down pizza

Just inside the entrance of our grocery store is a shelf full of ready made pizzas. Thinking we hadn't had pizza for a while we mulled over the idea and searched through the selves for one to our liking.  After changing our minds several times we settled on a plain jane combination--cheese.  We thought we'd pump it up by adding our own toppings, perhaps some mushrooms, maybe some ham and if Patrick wasn't looking I thought I could add a few onions.  That part of the pie would be exclusively mine and I'd relish and savor the addition.

This evening we prepared our plain, basic pie, adding our variety of toppings (and yes I slid in the onions).  Strange instructions suggested putting the pizza in the oven without a pan; just place it on the shelf.  Placing a large pizza in the oven is not so easy a task.  It flops and bends threatening to drain off any goodies that have been added, including the pound of cheese that came with it.

With a bit of luck and some fancy work with the oven rack and a pot holder I was able to place it according to the directions.  Finally when the pizza was ready to be removed from the oven I was confronted with the challenge of taking a hot circle from a hot rack without the aid of a pan.  Just how to you approach that task?

I grabbed the cardboard circle that came with the pizza and slid it under.  Next I used a fork to slide it further onto the board.  Yep, this was working fine.  I then moved it to the counter top to set it down.  On second thought if I left the cardboard underneath it might affect the quality of the pizza, maybe it would lose its crispiness.  I set the pizza on the counter and gave the cardboard a quick tug in order to make the pizza land on the counter. That was a good plan, but a miscalculation in the force of the tug applied to the cardboard caused the pizza to slide to the edge of the island counter where it continued to sail past the brink.  Thus the pizza made a ninety degree turn and landed face down on the carpet.

Quickly, with the 10 second rule in mind, I grabbed a pancake turner and rushed to the dining room side of the counter and began to shovel up our dinner.  Thankfully our dogs were napping and weren't available to help.  While I worked on scraping the cheese from the pile of the carpet Patrick took over rearranging the crust, cheese and toppings to make it look like what is expected of a pizza pie.  He did an admirable job.

Right side up or upside down?

Crispy pizza

CONCLUSION: 1.   No pan under the pizza causes the crust to more than brown.  2.  Upside down pizza tends to rearrange toppings, thus onions are basically unrecognizable.  3. There is a potential hazard for burns which is not noted on the instructions.  4. Over browned crust makes a pizza more consistent to cheese and crackers  5.  Dogs love to lick pizza from carpets.

QUESTION:  If the pizza was good how are we to know if the added touch of carpet first did or didn't affect the final result.

This is a test for Consumer Report or maybe Myth Busters.